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PIX FROM HFSTIVAL 2003!!

Jayel's Page

a rare side of the crackhead

2002-12-19 - 6:04 p.m.

Listening to: Black Crowes - She Talks to Angels

Eating: a number 3 from mickey deeze

my grandmother had a stroke...my dad called me up at work...so after work i stop by the hospital to see her...same ne i went to when i got hit by the car...i hate hospitals...when u go to them..its NEVER for a good reason...always some pain and suffering...and that smell of anti-spetic and death...so i get up to see her...and so much has changed...her face was sunken and pallid..mouth twisted..one eye was drooped down...didnt even know who i was...that was the hardest part...the same woman who..25 years ago told me how proud she was when i caught my first fish...same woman who i cheate at cards with cuz i peeked at the reflection of her cards in the microwave...same woman who lies on the bed..looking at me like she never knew me...its so sad to see her like that...she also has alzheimer's...it used to be real slight...but i dont know if the stroke affected it or what...she remembered me in thought..but not that "I" was brent...she'd just say "that brent and nate...such big men.." (nates my brother)...i tried to tell her that i was brent...bu i think at that point i could have been anybody to her...when i was little (teenager) she would always say if i got into trubble she'd "rattle my eyeballs"...she made some gesture like she was gonna do it...then she laffed...so did i...then i had to go pick up brian from after care..so i told her i loved her and kissed her on her forehead...then she said "i love you too brent" man.i thought i was gonna cry right there...ugh

went and sat in the car for a sec and gathered my composure and went to get brian...

thing is..her husband died back in 98..while i was still in germany..i couldnt get back for hs funeral...miss him so much...just like my dad..helluva role model to look up to...pattern a life after...i guess im at that weird point in life where parts of yer family start to pass..up to this point...the only person that died who was close...was a great aunt...and my grandfather...ugh..i need a fuckin drink

Leave me a note..or dont..whatever yo :)

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