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Farting His Guts Out

2002-12-23 - 6:02 p.m.

well...not too much happened today that was newsworthy...SOOOOOO...i'll leave u with this email that i got...i started laffin so hard..poor guy....read on

This is a story about a

couple who had been happily married for years. The

only friction in their marriage was the husband's

habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make

her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every

morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them

off because it was making her sick. He told her he

couldn't stop it and that was perfectly natural. She

told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one

day he would blow his guts out. The years when by and

he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving

morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and

he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl

where she had put the turkey innards and neck,

gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious

thought came to her. She took the bowl and went

upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,

gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back

the elastic waistband of his und! erpants and emptied

the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time

later she heard her husband waken with his usual

trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling

scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran

into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control

herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in

her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned

she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes

later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained

underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit

her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said,

"Honey, you were right. All these years you have

warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you

mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that

one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today

it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some

Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of

them back in.

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