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Do Farts have lumps?

2003-01-18 - 2:47 p.m.

ok...i just found out about rings...im still not sure all what they do..are they sorta like yer "buddy lists"? i dunno..ANYWAYZ...i made up two today..YAY!..so far im the only member of either one..BOOOOOOO...but back to the MEAT of the matter...i got bored and started lookin for joke sites...and i came across a "Little Johnny" joke site...awesome!! so here is one i found...

A Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First little girl says "The sky is definitely blue." Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange..."

Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown..."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks.. "Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK... then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."

dood..i was laffin SOOOOO hard when i read that...i had tears pourin outta my eyes...

now i must go read more...dey are hilarious...oh yeah..i signed up to join somebodys ring....its the "Crackheads" ring..but i have to get approved..im like what?? since when did crackheads have applications to fill out...thats the beauty of bein a crackhead..she better authorize me!! lol since this is saturday and im gonna continue to update all freekin day as shit pops into my head...i may as well keep adding on to one big ass entry...i WAS added to the Crackheads diaryring..WHAHOOO!! we gonna take over this bish!! lol

now for a story from my childhood...heh

back when i was in the 4th or 5th grade my mom would feed these squirrels peanuts. Eventually she got them to come and take the nuts right from her hand. Me and my brother thought this was pretty cool so we gave it a shot. After some time they would come right up to us and take the peanuts right from our hands too. Soon this grew kinda old tho. So i got the bright idea of tyin a string around the peanut and when the squirrel would take it i'd pull on the string and watch him wrestle around to get his prize. It didnt take them long to figure out to chew the string THEN take off with the peanut. So i took a piece of string..tied it around the nut then tied the other end to a butter tub that i had punched a hole in. I set the butter tub up on the picnic table and tossed the peanut out in the yard...Soon enough a squirrel came up and took the peanut and trotted off with it. The butter tub flew off the table and hit the squirrel in the head. Well he TOTALLY lost his mind....starts running all over the yard up and down trees along the fence with the butter tub behind him the whole time. He even stopped to "fight" the buttertub but it jes kept bouncin around cause he never dropped the peanut. Well me and my brother were in hysterics the whole time...lil thing is running around like a maniac. Then he makes a beeline for the front yard and right into the street. This big ass Bronco was goin up the street..THUMP...THUMP...dayyyummmm..me and my brother jes stood there in shock...then we started cryin cause we felt really bad...we went out into the street to see the squirrel and he was layin there all dead..lil dude still had the peanut in his mouth. Our mom made us put him in a plastic bag and hang him from the telephone pole so the dogs wouldnt get him. Man we felt so bad cause we were jes havin a good laff and then...that. Now its like a family classic tho....

its now 9:24pm...and i have been playin Gran Turismo 3 all freekin day...there is just somethin very cool about drivin a Porsche with 1000+hp down the straight on Midfield..or slicing and dicing my way thru the streets of Cote D'Azur in my mazda 787B...i even bought a Corvette Z06..all black..it makes some harsh ass engine/exhaust sounds..but for its power...its pretty quick....now im jes waitin for SNL and MAD TV to come on...i wish i had some beer...those are always funnier with beer...YAY! ..anywayz...peesh 4 now!

Leave me a note..or dont..whatever yo :)

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